Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Gone Girl“Did he do it?” is only the beginning of this one.

If you are at all inclined to see Gone Girl, and you should be, considering that along with Boyhood, it is one of the two best American films of 2014 so far, go to the theater immediately. It is a movie that begs to be spoiled. While there is no single “Luke, I am your father” moment, the story has so many twists and turns that even the most innocuous of commentaries, the most restrained of reviews, the briefest of clips runs the risk of ruining the fun. And that’s what this is: glorious, gorgeous, edge of the seat, what the heck is going on, bravura filmmaking fun.

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5_thumbUntil its last 20 minutes, Dracula Untold is as much a vampire movie as World War Z was a zombie movie. That is to say, not very much at all. The majority of the film plays out as a PG-13 Game of Thrones episode with a nod toward the Lord of the Rings movies. While entertaining enough despite some slow patches and predictable plot points, the horror lite flick, as constructed, calls into question recent press reports that Dracula Untold is one part of a classic Universal monsters reboot with Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, and perhaps even the Creature from the Black Lagoon to follow. The inchoate title – (couldn’t go with Dracula: The Untold Story or maybe even just Dracula?) – does not ring of a franchise launch pad, although it does lead to mirthful speculation about what the sequel will be called: perhaps Dracula Told, with the final chapter of the trilogy coming in as Dracula Told Off. The eccentricities of this production bolsters the notion that Universal was simply being opportunistic in tying this to a potential renaissance of the beloved black-and-white horror icons. However fans and critics view this film as standalone entertainment, Dracula Untold is simply not good enough on its own merits to justify expectations that the studio has a supernatural Avengers on its hands. (more…)

in-darkness-we-fallThe only good that could possible come out of widespread viewing of the latest group underground, found footage, schlock horror film known as La cueva or In Darkness We Fall is if audiences united after suffering through it and demanded a moratorium on trapped underground movies or found footage movies or, at a minimum, trapped underground found footage movies. It’s not going to happen, but it is nice to think that every film, not matter how awful, has an opportunity to make a lasting contribution to the arts.

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the-mule-movieLaws are laws (and the law is paramount in the new Australian black comedy crime flick, The Mule), but unwritten rules can be nearly as important. The applicable unwritten rule here is that one-note genre films should not run longer than 85 or 90 minutes. The Mule clocks in at 103 minutes, and that extra time, devoted almost exclusively to waiting for the main character to have a bowel movement, constipates the narrative. Its excessive length, the most common fault in modern cinema, is the only serious shortcoming in an uncomfortably original film from Down Under that dwells on activities down under. (more…)

Time LapseLegend has it that Leonardo da Vinci slept only two hours per day, resting in periodic snippets of 10 to 30 minutes. This unusual sleep pattern is known as polyphasic sleep or “the sleep of genius.” Da Vinci put these extra waking hours to good use, pursuing his mastery of painting and sculpture, continuing his work as an engineer and inventor, and furthering the knowledge of man in disciplines such as anatomy and mathematics. A journalist once attempted to adopt this habit, and after several weeks was able to get by on less than four hours of sleep per day, but he soon found himself bored and wasted the extra time on television and junk food. The moral of the story is that you need a genius to make the most out of certain opportunities. (more…)

extraterrestrial1There are about 30 minutes of cinematic gold in the new science fiction-horror flick Extraterrestrial, scenes good enough to meet the expectations raised by the smart, sleek trailer for the film and give rise to the hope that The Vicious Brothers may have hit on the elusive formula to provide the Alien on Earth mash-up that has eluded this genre to date. Unfortunately, Extraterrestrial runs for a too-long 106 minutes, meaning that the 30 minutes of genius are subsumed completely by a sub-standard storyline that renders the overall product unfortunately unpalatable. (more…)

R100Do you remember the old Bugs Bunny cartoons where it looked like Bugs was trapped, but he would pull out a can of paint and a brush, paint a door, and then escape through it? Hitoshi Matsumoto employs a similar device each time his movie, R100, is in danger of running into a dead end. Matsumoto simply changes the rules, not to mention the genre, and his madcap characters crash through the newly drawn door and veer off in another direction. For viewers willing to sit back and enjoy the ride without giving a whit about the destination, R100 is a blast of originality and a poke in the eye of the, at times, too staid Japanese film industry. (more…)

HollidaysburgThe Chair is a reality show airing on the Starz channel. Two aspiring filmmakers have been given funding and provided with the same script and shooting location (Pittsburgh). Their films – Not Cool and Hollidaysburg – were released on iTunes on September 23.

Hollywood (and we’ll use Hollywood as shorthand for American filmmakers) has an ongoing struggle with the portrayal of teens in movies. While audiences are accustomed to actors in their late (and later than that) twenties squeezing into teen roles like a pair of too-tight pants, they expect, at a minimum, for the behavior and situations to be representative of what they perceived to be commonplace for those on the cusp of adulthood. When that does not happen, it is difficult for the movie to succeed. Anna Martemucci’s new film, Hollidaysburg, fails to convey a convincing portrait of teenagers returning to their small western Pennsylvania town during Thanksgiving break of their freshman year at college, and this failure overshadows much of the good work contained in her effort. (more…)

not-coolThe Chair is a reality show airing on the Starz channel. Two aspiring filmmakers have been given funding and provided with the same script and shooting location (Pittsburgh). Their films – Not Cool and Hollidaysburg – were released on iTunes on September 23.

At some point, broad comedy is like baseball – it all comes down to the batting average. If your aim is to toss out a joke every two or three minutes, you better hit more than you miss if you want to keep your fans happy, particularly when your misses are complete whiffs, not only unfunny, but offensive. Good news for rookie Shane Dawson: he hits well over .500 in his debut project, Not Cool. Despite an affinity for the most literal elements of potty humor and his stubborn clinging to the mistaken notion that a young woman being vomited on is a source of amusement rather than disgust, Dawson delivers in the clutch in this National Lampoon-style look at college kids back home in Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving break. (more…)

The-CanalDirector/screenwriter Ivan Kavanagh comes off as something of a dilettante in his new horror film, The Canal. Kavanagh dabbles in the subgenres of scary movies, never settling on a single theme or approach. Is this a psychodrama or a ghost story? Are there real demons behind the walls of the house or are those sounds just the voices inside a jealous husband’s head? Does that 100-year old archival film showing murders along the same canal indicate a spectral presence that now haunts a public bathroom in the area or is the laconic Irish police detective right in his assessment of the situation? We always think it’s the husband, he explains to the husband, because it’s always the husband – every time. (more…)